The Upchuck Theater Podcast

Microwave Massacre - Episode 19

In this episode, our poorly drawn farce is forced to watch an ever poorer drawn farce. Microwave Massacare is truly an awful movie, probably the most inanely made film we've watched in our time doing this.

With a poor imitation of Rodney Dangerfield at the helm, even strange looking breasts and cannibalism can't save this nonsense. We debated even airing this episode because we were afraid that our energy was so low it might drag everything down, the pod surprisingly stays pretty active. No really. Aaron listens to all of them and edits (sort of) and he was quite surprised that this one doesn't actually suck.

The above possibly written by Aaron.

Advertised as 'The Worst Horror Movie of All Time' ... well... thanks for listening. Please like, share and subscribe. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Tune-in and many other places.

Vibrations - Episode 18

Episode 18 takes to the awful world of Vibrations - An absolute piece of trash starring James Marshall and Christina Applegate, about a handless doofus who becomes an electronica superstar... right.

This one is horrible, and you probably haven't heard of it. With good reason.

If you like this episode give us a uh... HAND. A lot of hands.

I don't really feel like typing much more.

I said I wouldn't like this, but if you're so inclined, give this goofball a read on uproxx

Thanks as always for listening. Please pass us on!

 

Aaron and Dustin Take New Orleans off the cuff

In this episode, (around June 1st) Aaron and Dustin recap their not so epic trip to the Big Easy, New Orleans.

From cheap sandwiches to ball soup style heat to rain, rain, and more rain to...well. They recap their trip and all the different things that were done, eaten, and more.

 

For Captain George's swamp tour: Happiness Bayou Tours

 

Red Sonya - Episode 17

It's been a long long time. Way too long. Deepest apologies to everyone that enjoys what we do here. It's been a very trying, busy, and difficult few months for everyone involved. From good things like going on vacations and new vehicels to bad things like tons of money and frustration and people with no driving license ruining our vehicles precepiating us needing new vehicles -- anyways.

We have our 2nd guest on this episode, Jay Zippo, all around good dude, Fallout 4 modder, Let's Play extraordinaire and someone who actually listens to our show. And James brings us the utter should've been smothered after birth of a movie Red Sonya with Bridgette Neilsen in her screen debut, a horrible end to Arnold's Barbarian film line, and a needlessly murdered Icthyin Kiling Machine.

It plays like an awful reskin of Indiana Jones and has no redeeming qualites... except of course for Dustin. As always thanks for listening, please like, share, subscribe, and comment through Facebook, iTunes, Twitter, and more.

Get in touch with Jay Zippo - @Beruud / YouTube

for the clips of Worf that Jay mentions where Picard just shuts him down over and over - Mr. Worf

Alien Covenant - Theater Nonsense

*******SPOLIERS*******In this off the cuff but feature length episode, Aaron and Rob recount their awful experience at the theater this past weekend seeing Alien: Covenant. They remember what makes the Alien franchise special (that is not in this movie) and so they break down the nonsense plot and the banality of the story. Michael Fassbender puts in another fine performance in a dual role, but his scenes oddly enough are the most drab and boring sequences.

The mythos and evolution of the Xenomorph is an affront to Dan O'Bannon and everything he created.

Utter trash.

Have you seen Covenant? What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Let us know!

 

WE TELL THE WHOLE PLOT IN THIS EPISODE SO ***SPOILERS***

Upchuck Theater Off the Cuff - IMDb 30 Day Challenge

Greetings Upchuckers!

This was posted a little bit late, but in this unofficial episode, Dustin, Aaron & Rob all take a stab at an IMDb Challenge that asked the following questions. Here is the link that will show those questions. Unsurprisingly Aaron is disgusted with a majority of Dustin's choices and corrects his favorite movie's release year for him. Although favorite films seem to dominate this list, in typical Upchuck Fashion there are some films that are brought up that even all of the Upchuck crew refuse to watch again (or may watch again in a future episode for your entertainment). This one runs a bit long, but will provide a fun glimpse into what we would choose (or not choose if the case may be) to spend our time watching.

Feel free to send us how you'd rate our choices, or better yet send us your choices!

As always thank you for listening. PLEASE subscribe, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, rate, and review. iTunes definitely gives the most juice so please be kind... and say something nice!

St. Patty's Day Nonsense x2!

So this is our Saint Patrick's Day episode...released on Mother's Day. In May. Almost 2 months to the day later.

First and foremost, thank you to all the loving mother's out there. You have more than just a tough job. Without you, there is no life. Or terrible movies.

Secondly, your support is and has always been great. But if you haven't yet, would you consider giving us a review and a follow if you've liked anything about what goes on here? You can do that in the following places:

Facebook // Twitter // iTunes // Podbean // Stitcher // tunein // and more. Just Google The Upchuck Theater and you'll find us! This is the greatest compliment you can give us, and the thing that will help us out the most!

In this episode, Dustin's all tuna pouch diet goes off the rails, Rob gets lost in between every McDonalds in a 10 mile radius, Aaron is absent for the whole thing and an Irish guy takes his place who has no idea about what they call things over in Ireland (truck? lorry?).

We review The SiFi original film Red Clover with Billy Zane and William Devane, and Unclucky Charms, starring giant breasts.

Check out the shining gem of both films Masuimi Max here.

 

Rollerball - Episode 15

In this episode, we watch one of our most divisive episodes yet - the 2002 horro show that is Rollerball. A remake of a 1975 gritty James Caan classic, the new Rollerball is stupid, poorly done, and a Rob favorite. Appealing to Rob's love of bad schlock, we also see Dustin (in possibly his most annoying turn yet) always willing to be leinent, and Aaron in his usual utter disgust.

Rollerball was a flop, and sent its direct John McTiernan to jail. This is the same guy that directed Predator and Die Hard. Then he did this garbage with Chris Klein. Yecccccck.

For a better movie with Rebecca Romin, try Femme Fatale.

For a movie that Chris Klein doesn't abort, try Election with Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon.

Yeck. Yeck. Yeck.

Aaron off the cuff on his epic 10v10 film loss

See the initial lists here

Aaron talks about his epic failure in a 10 v 10 film list on twitter. Paul Mackie orchestrated an epic showdown between 2 people at a time... and boy does Aaron get murdered. Everyone involved thought that it would be closer but Jordan runs away with it. What's funny about the whole sitaution is how close they really are in some ways, but Jordan loves the sequels and Aaron likes the original films.

There may or may not be a mini Dark Knight rant somehwere in here, albeit fairly calm. Yecccck.

Follow Paul and all his Twitter antics here

Thanks as always for listening. And please engage with us through Facebook, Twitter, Podbean, and more!

Mannequin - Episode 14

Special guest star: Drunken Rob

In this episode, the guys tackle an absolutely attrocious ball of nonsense that drives Rob to drink. The Andrew McCarthy / Kim Cattrall helmed Mannequin. Though we possess undying love for Kim Cattrall, it's not even close to enough to save this from the trash heap. McCarthy stumbles through as he usually does in everything, looking awkward and playing a bizarre goofball who... falls in love with a mannequin.

Watch the terrible music video for Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now HERE

To watch an APPROPRIATE reaction to this movie, click HERE (at your own risk)

The group may or may not sing the song somewhere towards the end of the pod.

As always thank you for listening. We've broken through the 1000 download barrier, and it's all because you are listening! PLEASE subscribe, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, rate, and review. iTunes definitely gives the most juice so please be kind... and say something nice!